I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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