he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
