speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
