In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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