i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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