You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just blew my weed a kiss
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
