i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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