There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
