all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
