i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
