Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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