I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
