Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
