GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
