Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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