It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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