I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
