Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
