Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just gift wrapped bread.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
