took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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