I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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