She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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