I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
