I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
