what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
