Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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