I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
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