he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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