So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
