This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
