So drunk its hurt
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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