drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
