let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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