So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
