How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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