he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
