the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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