I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
