Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
