Don't you send me to vm
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
