glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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