I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize