about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
