I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
