After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
