this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
