I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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