if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
