We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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