I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
