He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
