For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I didn't notice because vodka
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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