do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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