I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
