Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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