I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
