so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
