and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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