i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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