either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
