whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
