my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
how does that bad decision feel?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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